Topic -
Mum and Dad
It wasn’t easy having to grow up so fast.
Listening to my your constant fighting, the anxiety of not being able to predict your moods or know what I was coming home to after school or calculate how drunk you’d be.
I feel I missed out on a lot.
I often had to drag you to bed - passed out, I often had to keep you from physically killing each other, I often had to clean up broken dishes and patch up your wounds. I often had to make sure you got to work the next day and help you cover up black eyes and cuts.
You weren't there for me as a young teenager. Like when I had my first kiss, my first date or when I needed help with school work (which suffered because of the volatile circumstances). On my matric farewell (prom), Dad, you forgot to come and collect me and I nearly missed the entire evening, which meant everything to me at the time.
All these things made me sad, agressive and quick to move out of home at 17 years old and start my own life. Not really knowing what to do or where to go. Its been a struggle to find my place in life, therapy and friends have helped. I can now express all these things without feeling ashamed and worried that I will be judged for YOUR behaviour and YOUR choices.
Growing up in a home with two alcholic parents was tough but its made me who I am today. I have forgiven you both for all you did. The neglect, the unstable environment, the physical and mental abuse.
I will not forget but I have forgiven.
